Immortality Through Quantum Suicide

 So, there’s this fantastic Wikipedia list called Wikipedia:Unusual Articles. It’s filled with unusual, unexpected, and unbelievable subjects. Every other week I click on a new link, and teach you a little bit more about our amazing world. Do you want to live forever? Well, if Wolverine or Deadpool taught you anything, you don’t, but there is a theory on how you can. It’s gonna need a bit of explanation so if you’re like this guy and don’t enjoy long-winded answers, I suggest you turn off the post now. Quantum Mechanics. They’re complicated. What we’re going to talk about today is only a theory because it’s practically impossible to test. One of the bases of quantum mechanics is Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle. Heisenberg says that, in quantum mechanics, “the more precisely the position is determined, the less precisely the momentum is known in this instant, and vice versa.” Let me explain. Imagine you’re a blind man. In order to tell how far away an object is, you’ve developed a system in which you throw a tennis ball at the object, let say it’s a larger medicine ball. If your tennis ball bounces back in a short amount of time, you know that the medicine ball is close, if it bounces back in a longer amount of time, the medicine ball is farther. The problem is, however, that through observing where the medicine ball is, you’ve moved it and it’s therefore no longer in the position in which you observed it. In the subatomic world, it’s essentially impossible to observe an object without affecting it, so all quantum theories must be based on and proven by thought experiments. Alright, that was my best attempt at summarizing a concept that you can study for years in 30 seconds. The first theory in our long-winded explanation is the Many-Worlds theory. Let’s say you’re standing on top of a cliff. You’re making the decision on whether or not to jump. According to the many-worlds theory, at the very moment that your decision is made, the universe splits into two—one copy being the timeline in which you jump off the cliff, the other being the one where you walk away. Of course, the you that jumped off the cliff doesn’t know that the universe split into two and in your reality, life just continues on as normal while simultaneously in a different universe, a copy of you continues his life following his decision to not jump from the cliff. The many worlds theory says that every single time a decision is made by anyone or anything, the universe splits and and your self inhabits only one of nearly infinite different universes. Now to quantum suicide. In this thought experiment, you, the experimenter, are standing in a box with a nuclear bomb that, if exploded, will immediately and unconditionally kill you. Hooked up to the bomb is a trigger that measures the spin value of a proton every three seconds. If the proton spins one way, there’s just a click sound, the other way, the bomb explodes. Statistically, the proton should have a 50% of spinning one way or another so the chance of the bomb going off or not is truly random. Three, two, one, (click), three, two, one, (click), three, two, one, (click). At this point, there’s only a 12.5% that the bomb not going off was random, we’ll keep going, three, two, one, (click), three, two, one, (click). If we fast forward 300 seconds, after the proton has been measured 100 times, there’s only a eight hundred-octillionth of a percent (0.00000000000000000000000000008%) chance that your survival is random. We can now conclude beyond a reasonable doubt that you are immortal. What happened is that every time the proton was measured, every time the bomb could have gone off, the universe split into two, one being the scenario in which you die, the other being the one in which you live. But why didn’t you go to the universe where the bomb went off, why didn’t you go to the one where you died? Well it’s quite simple. The version of you who died cannot know that he died, only the version of you who lived can know that you lived. The next time the bomb went off, the same situation occurred. Only the living version of you continues on in consciousness. On and on this will continue, forever, because the version of you who lives can continue to realize he is living. You can’t die because only your living self will keep consciousness and existence. This, of course, brings up a lot of existential questions. Will the version of yourself who lives be the same person? Are the people around you in the new universe the same people? Shouldn’t everyone be immortal from any sort of death in some universe? What does it mean to be a person if there are so many versions of you? There are certainly flaws to this theory and there are certainly unanswerable questions. Should you go off and try quantum suicide in order to prove your own immortality? Well, I’d suggest not. This whole theory is based on the many-worlds interpretation of quantum mechanics which is only the second or third most popular interpretation. The Copenhagen theory, which you know from Schrödinger's cat, is the leading interpretation of quantum mechanics and would lead to you being properly, and unconditionally dead.